Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
