I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
