Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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