yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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