so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
