You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
