So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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