you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
did i just pee glitter
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