I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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