He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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