I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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