the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
