glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
