Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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