When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
