Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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