good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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