i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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