During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
