I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
