Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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