the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
