Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
