you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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