All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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