he told me I talked like a deaf person
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
