I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
