What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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