Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
