It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
