Moan for me like Helen Keller
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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