I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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