i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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