After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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