it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
