My balls are so social today.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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