woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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