come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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