I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
