Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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