The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
