I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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