sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
