you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
