I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
