Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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