I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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