Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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