i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
