My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
