So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
