I faked an abortion last night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
